As young men, we all start lifting weights for two reasons…
1) We want to get bigger and stronger for sports.
2) We want to pick up chicks.
However, as time goes by we come to the realization that –
A. We will never be professional athletes and therefore have no future in sports.
B. Women don’t give a shit about how muscular we are.
Once we come to those harsh realizations, most of us give up lifting weights forever, get married to the first girl who gives up the pussy (I almost did that), have a couple of snot-nosed kids, and wallow in a life of mediocrity.
However, there is a small group of smart motherfuckers who decide to stay in the iron game (AKA the readers of this website) and they do so for one reason… they want to achieve a certain “look”.
What “Look” Do You Want To Achieve?
Throughout the years, I’ve noticed 4 different “looks” that every man seems to covet and wishes to achieve for themselves during their lifting life cycle.
The four looks that we will be discussing in this article are –
- The Lean Guy
- The Big Guy
- The Pro Bodybuilder
- The Hollywood Superhero
Each look has its pros and cons and some looks are much harder to achieve than others. The purpose of this post is to provide you with a clear understanding of what each look is and the sacrifices that will have to be made to achieve each one.
Going into this post you may have an idea in your head that you want to be a lean shredded guy with six pack abs year round, but once you hear about the sacrifices that must be made to achieve that look, you might have a change of heart and chase the “Big Guy” look instead.
Alright, enough bullshitting, let’s get down to business.
Look # 1 – The Lean Guy
The lean guy look is probably the most sought after look in the world… or at least in the United States where most guys are lazy fat fucks.
In fact, back when I was a personal trainer, almost all of my male clients wanted to lose weight and achieve the lean guy look.
And I get why. I mean, who wouldn’t want a shredded 6-pack that has the ability to wet panties at the drop of a hat? I know I sure as hell would!
But while that may sound tempting, getting the lean guy look requires extreme discipline and attention to detail when it comes to diet and exercise.
Because, umm, you know…
What’s that saying again?
If it were easy, everyone would do it!
The Lean Guy Workout
The lean guy workout routine is super simple. All you’ll have to do is train a few main barbell exercises while keeping your overall training volume (sets and reps) low, because as you’ll see in the diet portion of the post, you won’t have a ton of extra calories to spare for muscle recovery.
Barbell Row 3×5
Bench Press 3×5
Barbell Standing Press 3×5
Train on non-consecutive days (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) and add weight to the bar whenever possible.
The Lean Guy Diet
Since you want to be the lean guy, you won’t get to eat much food…
What? You thought that those razor abs would just magically appear out of thin air? Wishful thinking my friend.
Unfortunately, being the shredded lean guy isn’t all fun and games. In fact, when it comes to eating, it really fucking sucks. In order to achieve and maintain a low body fat percentage, you’ll have to partake in a low-calorie lifestyle.
Every single meal that you consume really counts and eating too many tasty treats like doughnuts, pizza, and soda will derail your diet pretty fast. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the occasional cheat day.
If you want to make your low-calorie lifestyle somewhat bearable, I recommend utilizing an intermittent fasting diet strategy.
If you don’t know what intermittent fasting is by now you’ve probably been living under a rock, but I’ll spell it out for you just in case.
Typical Daily Lean Guy Diet
Meal 1 – 2 pm: 1 pack of instant oatmeal, 1 cup milk; total calories – 380
Meal 2 – 8 pm: Bacon Egg & Cheese Burrito, King-sized Payday; total calories – 1340
Total Daily Calories: 1,720
Repeat this eating schedule while keeping your total number of daily calories between 1600-1700 (if you’re an averaged size guy) and you’ll be well on your way to lean guy status.
Of course, everyone is different and as a result, we all have different daily caloric needs. So, make sure you use an online calorie calculator to find the right daily caloric range for you.
Oh yeah, I should probably mention that you’ll need to start cooking all of your own meals from now on as well. Restaurant food is far to calorie-rich for a lean guy to eat on a regular basis!
I mean, an average fast food meal of a burger, fries and a drink will easily put you over 1500 calories for the day by itself!
Look # 2 – The Big Guy
The big guy look is called The Big Guy Look because that’s what people will start calling you once you achieve it. And on top of that, it’s the easiest and most fun look to achieve!
The only things that you have to do in order to become a big guy are lift weights and eat big satisfying meals. Doing just those two things alone will get you much bigger and stronger within a year or less.
Having said that, at some point you’ll have to start being a little more careful about your diet. You don’t want to go overboard and constantly eat everything in sight because if you do, you’ll turn into a disgusting fat fuck.
The Big Guy Workout
Stiff Legged Deadlift 3×10
Bench Press 5×5
Lying Triceps Extensions (Skull Crushers) 3×10
Standing Barbell Press 5×5
Barbell Curls 3×10
Stiff Legged Deadlift 3×10
Day 7 Rest
* Start light and add 5 pounds to the bar every time you complete your 5×5 sets with good form.
The Big Guy Diet
The big guy diet is pretty simple. When you’re hungry, eat big fulfilling meals and wash them down with a giant glass of milk.
Once you achieve the level of size that you desire, use an online calorie calculator to find out how many calories you’ll need to maintain your current size and eat just that many calories per day.
If you follow the diet plan described above, you’ll build a big muscular physique in no time and friends and co-workers will regularly start referring to you as “big guy” whenever they see you.
Look # 3 – The Pro Bodybuilder
Okay, you sick fuck. For some reason, you want to be 280 pounds of pure shredded muscle and look like a real-life version of The Incredible Hulk.
Maybe you didn’t get enough love and attention as a child or maybe you just like to take things to the absolute limit. No matter what your motivation is, you have to realize that you have a long tough road ahead of you.
Looking like a pro bodybuilder isn’t just some hobby that you do on the weekends, it’s a lifestyle that affects every single aspect of your daily existence.
The Pro Bodybuilder Workout
If you want to look like a pro bodybuilder, you’re going to have to train like one! Which means spending lots of time in the gym.
Time under tension and volume is the name of the game when you want to build massive amounts of muscle mass. And as you’re about to see, the workout I’ve created below has plenty of both.
Like always, make sure you strive to add weight to each exercise as it becomes easier. You must always remember that more strength is more muscle.
Chest & Back
Flat Bench Press 4×10
Incline Bench Press 4×10
Dumbbell Chest Flys 4×10
Pull Ups 4×10
Barbell Row 4×10
Day 2 – Legs
Barbell Back Squat 4×10
Barbell Front Squat 4×10
Stiff Legged Deadlift 4×10
Day 3 – Rest
Day 4 – Shoulders
Dumbbell Side Lateral Raise 4×10
Dumbbell Front Raise 4×10
Dumbbell Bent Over Rear Delt Raises 4×10
Day 5 – Arms
EZ Curl Lying Tricep Extension (Skull Crushers) 4×10
Chin Ups 4×10
Day 6 – Rest
Day 7 – Rest
The Pro Bodybuilder Diet
The diet of a pro bodybuilder is a giant pain in the ass. In order to pack on the amount of quality muscle that you’ll need to achieve the pro bodybuilder look, you’ll have to be constantly feeding your muscles with lots of protein and carbohydrates.
I’m not going to write out a whole diet for you because I’m a lazy bastard and I don’t feel like it, but it’s all the standard stuff you’ve seen in muscle magazines and mainstream bodybuilding websites.
Your daily diet will consist of lots of chicken, lean beef, rice, potatoes, and other bland tasteless food. Eat every 2 hours and make sure you’re getting at least 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight.
Pro Bodybuilding “Supplements”
Alright, let’s be real. When I say “supplements”, I ain’t talking about protein powder and creatine. No no, I’m talking about the real shit kid. I’m talking about motherfuckin anabolic steroids! And if you want to look like a pro bodybuilder you’ll have to take them.
Dianabol, Testosterone, Winstrol, Trembolon – these are just a few of the bodybuilding specific drugs that you’ll have to become familiar with if you want to achieve the maximum amount of muscle size and shape while maintaining a low body fat percentage.
After all, the human body can only build so many pounds of lean muscle naturally without some form of chemical assistance.
Pro Bodybuilding Genetics
The last piece of the pro bodybuilding puzzle, and probably the most important is genetics. Believe it or not, only a select few individuals in the whole entire world possess the god given natural ability to look like a pro bodybuilder.
Metabolism, height, muscle belly length, muscle insertion points, these are all things that decide whether or not you have what it takes to look like a muscular greek god.
And you know what the worst part about it is? Absolutely none of that stuff is under your control. It’s all decided by fate.
In other words, if you’re a naturally super skinny small boned guy who has no natural strength whatsoever or a fat fuck with a slow metabolism and severe thyroid issues, your chances of ever looking like a pro bodybuilder are about 0.1%
Look # 4 – The Hollywood Super Hero
Due to the recent popularity of movies like The Avengers, many guys around the world have become obsessed with both the actors that portray these larger than life on-screen characters and their physiques.
Nowadays, everyone wants to look like Captain America, Thor, or Superman. And who could blame them? All of them have lean muscular physiques, chiseled jawlines, and the ability to look great in tight spandex uniforms.
However, what most people fail to realize is that achieving the Hollywood Super Hero look is fucking hard! And the actors that portray them have a ton of outside help and motivation (like getting paid millions of dollars) which helps them achieve that look rather quickly.
The Hollywood Super Hero Workout
Most Hollywood superhero workouts place a huge emphasis on upper body development since just about every movie features at least one signature scene where the hero of the story just so happens to be shirtless for an extended period of time… for no apparent reason at all.
And depending on what superhero you want to look like, your workouts could vary greatly. Regardless, I’ve decided to provide the workout of a mainstream superhero that most every guy would love to look like below… Thor.
Let’s take a look.
Chris Hemsworth Thor Workout
Day 1 – Back
Pull-ups: 5 sets of 20, 15, 12, 10, 10 reps
Push Ups: 5 sets of 20 reps
Hammer Strength Machine Rows: 4 sets of 12 reps
Dumbbell Rows: 4 sets of 12 reps
Day 2 – Chest
Barbell Bench Press: 8 sets of 12, 10, 10, 8, 8, 6, 4, 4, 4
Incline Dumbbell Bench Press: 4 sets of 12 reps
Hammer Strength Chest Press: 4 sets of 15 reps
Weighted Dips: 4 sets of 10 reps
Cable Flys: 4 sets of 12 reps
Day 3 – Legs
Barbell Back Squat: 7 sets 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 3 reps
Leg Press: 4 sets of 10 reps
Walking Lunges: 4 sets of 12 reps
Leg Extensions: 3 sets of 20 reps
Single Leg Curl: 3 sets of 20 reps
Standing Calf Raises: 4 sets of 20 reps
Day 4 – Shoulders
Barbell Standing Press: 7 sets of 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 3 reps
Arnold Press: 4 sets of 12 reps
Barbell Shrugs: 4 sets of 12 reps
Dumbbell Lateral Raise: 3 sets of 15 reps
Dumbbell Front Raise: 3 sets of 15 reps
Dumbbell Rear Delt Flys: 3 sets of 15 reps
Day 5 – Arms
Barbell Curl: 3 sets of 10 reps
Skull Crushers: 3 sets of 10 reps
Dumbbell Hammer Curl: 3 sets of 12 reps
Triceps Cable Push Down: 3 sets of 12 reps
Barbell Wrist Curl: 3 sets of 10 reps
Reverse Wrist Curl: 3 sets of 10 reps
Day 6 – Rest
Day 7 – Rest
The Hollywood Super Hero Diet
Whenever an actor is asked to get into the best shape of their lives, you can bet that they do everything possible to make that process easy. And with that comes things like a world class trainer, expert dietitian, and of course a live-in personal chef.
All of those things combined make following an ultra strict diet and workout routine pretty effortless which is why these guys have the ability to make radical transformations to their bodies in about 6 months time.
Anyway, the Hollywood superhero diet is very similar to the pro bodybuilder diet. You’ll be eating plenty of protein throughout the day while watching your daily food intake to make sure that you stay lean while building a good amount of muscle at the same time.
Hollywood & Steroids
The last part of the Hollywood superhero equation is… STEROIDS!
What? You thought that actors who get paid millions of dollars to fill a movie role and get into the best shape of their lives leave anything to chance?
Well, friend, you thought wrong.
Every and I do mean ABSOLUTELY EVERY actor today who plays a Hollywood superhero is on the juice.
My favorite example of this is the transformation that Hugh Jackman made when he accepted the role of Wolverine. I’m not sure if you knew this, but Hugh Jackman was nothing more than a skinny little girly man before he accepted the role.
Check out the before and after pictures below…
See what I mean?
I mean yeah, he did bust his ass in the weight room and eat a good diet, but you don’t get to that level of shredded and muscular without a little chemical help.
So, always keep in mind that while attaining the Hollywood superhero look is possible, it’s likely going to take you at least twice as long to achieve than it does for the real deal rich boy actors. And unless you get some chemical anabolic assistance, your results won’t be nearly as impressive.
The Most Important Factor
If you’ve made it this far into the article then hopefully by now you would have noticed that the most important factor in how you look is mostly based around one thing… your diet.
You can lift weights and exercise all you want, but unless you get a handle on how much food you cram down your throat on a daily basis, you’ll never achieve the look that you’re after!
With time and dedication, anything is possible!
From The Man Himself –